What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Fire extinguishers are sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

thumb_up thumb_down

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

thumb_up thumb_down

I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

thumb_up thumb_down

what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

thumb_up thumb_down

It's long!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

thumb_up thumb_down

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

thumb_up thumb_down

If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What was the biggest party of 2010? The Democrats.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head were on a plane. They never met, and went their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops