A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

how do you get a taco? Buy one!

Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

Farts smell bad!

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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