A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

Turn around.

Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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