Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops