Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chuck norris survived rapture.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Bumsniffer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

WILSON!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

i cannot get my penis to rise to the occasion, it is the holocaust tho..

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

thumb_up thumb_down -32

your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Are you from Nebraska? 'Cuz you're the only ten i see.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops