The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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It's your mother, open the door.

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what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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