A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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I like to eat people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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