Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

A Mexican walks into a club.

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

Knock knock It's open, come in.

i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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