- Anti Joke

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

Obamacare!

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

Why....... Because.

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

Knock Knock. Go away!

What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

Baseball

4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

What lives underground? Grandpa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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