Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

why did the chicken cross the road.

Womens rights

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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