Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why....... Because.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops