what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Fruitcake

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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come along children

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Go away.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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