Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

thumb_up thumb_down -36

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

what did the man say to the other man? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

69

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops