Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops