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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Andoni was here

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops