What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops