how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops