Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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i saw amango it splootered

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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