Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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