Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops