Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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What happened when the Hispanic man dropped his Wollet? He picked it up

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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