Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Faithful men.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops