Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

Yes

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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