Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops