a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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. . I am a whale

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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