Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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9/11 my birthday

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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