Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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I asked her where you were.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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