What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops