whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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