Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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knock knock come in

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops