hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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