How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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