Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

69.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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