Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Refridgerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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