roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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I like the color potato.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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