A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Kevin and Ramin

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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