Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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