What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

Screw it you write the joke.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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