Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Bob Saget

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Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

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are u black unlucky

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A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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People who do not realize the concept of this website, and write real jokes on it.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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