How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

thumb_up thumb_down -16

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -18

We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Reading the Terms and Conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops