why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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