What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Brain fart

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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