What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

A dancer walks into a barre

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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