Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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