Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

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My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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