My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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