Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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