whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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