Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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