Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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