Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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