Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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9/11 my birthday

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42

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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