Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Black people having a Job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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