Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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i found waldo.

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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