It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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