How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

your mom was so fat that she died.

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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