What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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