Whats worse than suicide? death

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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time to spruce up!

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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