What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

I like that, but why am I happy?

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

FOX News: Fair and balanced

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

civil rights

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

A miserable man committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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