Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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