Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

He--Hey guys

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -4

'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops