What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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