'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

I am a mime

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

Women outside of the kitchen.

Nobody cares maddie!

Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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