Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

The FCC

Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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