I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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