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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops