I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Who wants water? I do.

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A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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