A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops