I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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How's the weather? Good.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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