What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops