why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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good looking women

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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