What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops