how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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