How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down +18

i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops