What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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What's big and purple? Barney

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops