-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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