what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Choir.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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