Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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Women's Rights.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops