Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops