There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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