How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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Your adopted

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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