Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

How old are you? 7

Women's Rights..

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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