How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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No it doesnt..

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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