Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

What is both bold and brash? Fox

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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