How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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