Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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